Becoming Self-Reliant After Moving Away from Home

Despite whether you were raised to be independent or not, moving away from home can be intimidating and sometimes scary, there’s no shame in admitting that, but there are things you can do to make the transition a little easier.

I will admit, I very naively had no idea what I was signing up for when deciding to attend Langston University. I can contribute some of that to being distracted by the many unfortunate happenings of 2020, but when I say pulling onto Old Highway 33 and seeing where I was going to spend all of my undergrad was one of the biggest shocks of the year, I’m speaking in all honesty. 

Now, this was before doing my due diligence and researching the city of Langston, which come to find out contains an abundance of social and historical value to the state of Oklahoma, but at the time, I was only a freshman who was more concerned with the fact that not only was I freshly 18 and over 900 miles away from home, I was also in the middle of nowhere and knew almost no one. 

To some, it will feel like a daunting task trying to establish yourself as a self-sustaining adult when the only local businesses and resources available to you in a 15-mile radius are a post office, liquor store, community center, gas station and Dollar General. Luckily, you are not the first or the last to have to undertake this challenge. 

To break it down simply, there are three major keys to becoming more self-reliant when moving away from home:

• Fully understand this next phase in your life. Although this may not apply to non-traditional students, for a lot of people, this will be the first time you are solely responsible for yourself and your actions. 
• Establish your community and be open to getting to know the people around you. Sooner or later, you will hear LU’s unofficial motto, “if you can survive Langston, you can survive anywhere.” But in my personal opinion, there is no surviving Langston if you don’t have anyone you can rely on.
• And start thinking about your personal finances early. Outside of tuition and other academic costs, life in general is expensive and having some money to fall back on is a must. 

Responsibility and Accountability

First and foremost, your academics and keeping up with assignments is now your responsibility and there will be heavy consequences for not doing so. I don’t think I have to explain that college will be difficult at times, but it is up to you and you alone to make sure you stay on top of your work because unfortunately, no teacher is going to hold your hand through this process. Give yourself grace when first learning how to use Canvas properly, but check your to-do list every morning before class and every night before getting too comfortable. 

You are also solely accountable for taking care of yourself both mentally and physically. As is second nature for a lot of people, a lot of you won’t give too much thought to keeping up with your hygiene and personal health, but remember you are now in a confined space with lots of people doing God-knows-what. Listen to me carefully, you will eventually get sick, so make sure you eat properly, wash your hands frequently and know what kind of resources are available for when you’re not feeling your best. 

Establish a community

I was fortunate enough to be one of the last freshman-cohorts to experience a two-week-long lion camp, which at first seemed more like a burden than anything, but eventually proved itself to be extremely useful when trying to make new friends. 

That being said, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to take advantage of the first couple weeks of classes. In those first few weeks, as you and your professors are still settling in, the workload won’t be as strenuous as it will come to be later in the semester. Having gone through this process themselves, the Langston community already knows it can be difficult getting used to the area, so there will be multiple events you can attend to meet new people and get a feel for what kind of organizations or opportunities are available. Most of these events will take place during Welcome Back Week, so take the time to get out of your comfort zone, aka your dorm room, and go mingle. 

Once you’ve found your people, whether that be a roommate or someone you met randomly, I highly recommend sharing emergency contacts and having discussions about topics like medical issues, life-threatening allergies and any personal boundaries that may need to be established beforehand. These conversations can be awkward, but remember everyone here is an adult and information like that can be important to share with those around you, especially in the absence of any personal family members or close friends. 

Outside of the more serious precautions, remember that it truly does take a village, so learn to lean on each other when need be. Over the next few years, these people are going to see you at your best and at your worst, so be kind, be understanding and most importantly be there for each other because sometimes, your friends are going to be the only thing holding you and your mental sanity together. 

Personal Finances 

At its core, college is meant to prepare you for life after graduation, and maintaining your personal finances is one of the many lessons you will have to learn very quickly.

I hate to say it, but you are embarking on this next phase in your life during one of the worst economic crashes in the past few decades, and that is not a fun nor easy pill to swallow but one that’s necessary to understand straight away. Everything costs money. You will need to keep up with daily household items, such as cleaning supplies, personal hygiene products, school supplies, dorm room snacks, etc…, but there will be a time later down the road where more costly expenses start coming out of the woodworks.

For example, car maintenance is always an expense that would catch both me and my friends by surprise. And for those who don’t know, there is nothing simple about an HBCU homecoming. As a result, you certainly don’t have to break the bank — which I would highly recommend — but there will be extra expenses for things like outfits, event tickets and food.

With all of that in mind, there are dozens of opportunities to make money on campus. Talk to other students and advisors to see if you are eligible for work-study or any of the independent employment opportunities on campus. Plenty of students tutor or work part-time in areas such as the cafeteria, library, administration office and Page Hall. 

For those who are more entrepreneurial, don’t be afraid to sell your services and goods around campus. I would actually encourage it. With the university being miles away from the nearest small town, students will be looking for someone to do their hair, take their picture, or sell them a nice plate of food. Take advantage of the school sponsored events that also highlight small businesses for more growth opportunities.

At the end of the day, it’s okay to be homesick, but be confident in your abilities and don’t be afraid to ask for help.