Friendship at Langston

Friends, how many of us have one? Friends, Friends. How many of us have them? Friends, ones we can depend on. Friends, how many of us have them?Song by Whodini.

Whodini poses a real question we all might ask ourselves at one point in time.

My junior year of school, I was struggling mentally and physically with being burnt out from my college classes and everyday life. It got to the point where I was having anxiety attacks, and it felt so hard to breathe or even exercise at a bare minimum. Every single time I would walk to class, I would be winded and out of breath, which was completely abnormal for me, considering I walked to class every single day. I explained what I was feeling to my friend, who happened to be a nursing major, and she told me it was anxiety. Of course, I didn’t believe her and told her I needed a second opinion. So she told me to visit the school nurse, which I did, and then my friend took me to a local clinic to get a third opinion. After the third nurse confirmed what my friend had told me all along, I was relieved, but more so grateful. Even though my friend knew exactly what I was experiencing from the start, she still jumped through hoops to make sure I was okay. She dealt with my stubbornness, and for someone who was confident about my diagnosis, she showed me humility and grace by educating me and making sure I was taking the necessary steps to learn new methods and ways to deal with anxiety, especially for someone like me who had never dealt with mental health problems before. That was just one example of a friend coming through for me, but honestly, if I didn’t have my friends to help me get through one of the toughest times of my college career, I don’t think I would have returned to campus.

Why are friendships important? People need people.

We all need community, people in our circle to lean on when times get tough, people we can go to, and people we can trust. I am a firm believer that we were not created to be alone; we need each other. College can already be challenging and sometimes feel isolating. I want you to be able to find people you can connect with and relate to, to help you on your college journey. Finding your community requires you to step outside your comfort zone.

You have to be willing to put yourself out there. What does that look like? It means joining clubs, going to campus events, and joining study sessions. Welcome Back Week happens every year where all the organizations and clubs on campus have their own booths, and you can walk around to see what each club or organization is about. There are academic clubs, social justice organizations, religious organizations, student activities boards, and more. You can find all organizations here: https://langston.presence.io/organizations

As you explore those organizations and meet new people, don’t limit yourself to just your major. Some of the most valuable friendships come from unexpected places, and the right ones can even change how you show up in the classroom.

Your friend group has the power to shape your education.

What helps a person stay on top of their education, besides themselves, are the people they surround themselves with. Finding someone who shares similar academic motivations and goals can help relieve the stress and pressure we put on ourselves to perform, but also helps with having someone there experiencing the same material, content, and professors as you, someone you can both relate to and learn from. I would advise you to find a peer or an upperclassman to either shadow or become a study partner with. You need someone who will challenge you, lift you up, and help you become a better student, essentially an accountability partner. During my years at Langston, I had one peer who turned into a friend who challenged me throughout my broadcast journalism degree. We had study sessions where we worked on homework together, kept track of assignments due for each class, and graded each other’s work. I expressed my goals to her, and she did the same with me. She made sure I never got too comfortable, because she was always right there producing great work. We learned from each other. And the beauty of it is, those kinds of meaningful relationships are not limited to just the people in your major.

Make friends outside of your major.

Aside from making friends with people in your major, you should also pursue friendships with others. I had friends in various departments, nursing, agriculture, business, and criminal justice. We were all different and came from different backgrounds. You can learn so much from those individuals, whether that is culture, education, or terms and concepts you have never heard before. For freshmen, meeting people in different majors typically happens during general elective courses, classes you take outside of your major. You get the chance to meet students pursuing a wide range of degrees while sitting in the same classroom. We would meet at the library for study sessions. Then, as we all progressed in our majors, we would share what events, field trips, and opportunities each department was hosting. I learned so much from friends in majors unlike mine, and I also sought their help, whether that was getting opinions on a paper, brainstorming story ideas for the Gazette, or just talking about life. I had a community around me of like-minded individuals who were fun, motivated, and took their studies seriously.

My friend group did so many fun things together. The late-night study sessions, dinner outings, Walmart runs, football games, and karaoke sessions will forever be memories I hold dearly. Many of those memories, in fact, came from simply saying yes to events, outings, and opportunities I almost talked myself out of.

Go on Field Trips.

When you see an email about a field trip or outing, and Langston is only selecting a certain number of students, make sure you sign up. Don’t wait on your friends, because by the time you do, the spots may already be filled. Take a risk and go by yourself. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but you can make friends on the way there, or at the very least gain a new experience. I went on a JCPenney fashion show trip with the career department, where we shopped for business clothes to wear to interviews, internships, and career fairs. Something as simple as that still left an imprint on me because I met some cool, funny people, and we stayed in touch and hung out back at Langston. The same principle applies to sporting events, the cafeteria, campus events, class meetings, and more. You don’t have to wait for someone to invite you. You can be the initiator, or you can simply go on your own. When you get to events, be sociable and friendly, and see who you connect with. You may be in the process of finding your community and your people. And don’t be discouraged. Sometimes you meet your people at different stages of your college career, and that is okay. As you grow and develop, some friendships will follow you, and some will stay behind. As long as you have one good friend in your life, you will be well on your way.