How to Bounce Back When You Make Mistakes

Learning how to navigate when life throws you curveballs and suddenly your four-year plan is disrupted.

The Bounce Back

The first major lesson I learned in college is the bounce back: learning how to recover after you’ve performed poorly on a test or homework assignment, made a mistake you regretted, or learned something from failure. It’s about the choices you make to move forward and make a conscious effort to try again. This is an important skill set in life, but especially in academics.

I remember when I received my first D on a paper. I was appalled, disoriented, and stressed because I had never done that poorly on an assignment before. What hit me next was the reality that I still had two more tests coming up in different classes and homework assignments due. Honestly speaking, I went back to my dorm and cried, because I was not proud of my performance. However, sulking in your feelings does not serve you well when you still have obligations waiting. Don’t worry, though. There are ways to overcome the stressors of academic performance, and I’ll share some with you.

Don’t Sulk, Start a Joke

Sometimes you just have to laugh. When schoolwork starts getting challenging and overwhelming, you’re going to need to release and relieve stress in healthy ways. You may say to yourself, “Ain’t nothing funny,” but laughing actually helps produce dopamine. According to Case Western Reserve University, when you experience humor or laugh, the reward center of your brain is activated, causing a surge of dopamine along with other mood-boosting chemicals like endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin. That release promotes feelings of pleasure, motivation, and relaxation. Laughing has proven benefits on your neurological health as well as easing and relaxing your body. Once you come to terms with the results from a test or assignment, you can’t change the past, so look forward.

Develop a Plan to Be the Man (or Woman)

When you look forward, you can start planning ahead. Try a different way to study or learn the material, whether that be flashcards, Quizlet, Kahoot, or studying with friends. Figure out a method that works for you, and once you find it, stick with it. Effort goes a long way. Once your professors see that you care and are willing to put in the work, watch how they treat you.

With that being said, go to office hours and speak with your professors. Show them that you are willing to put in the work and that your grades matter to you. All of my closest academic relationships stemmed from attending office hours and spending time with my professors. I would ask them so many questions, and throughout the year we developed real relationships. I’m not saying that has to be the case for everyone, but my professors wanted the best for me. They wanted to see me win. You have to start learning how to change and adapt to make things work for you.

Don’t Project, Change Your Mindset

You have to be a master of your own thinking to get the outcomes you want. As the saying goes: watch your thoughts, for they become words, and watch your words, for they become actions. You have to constantly feed yourself positivity and affirmations on a daily basis, because school will humble you. Try switching up your everyday vocabulary. Instead of “I will try,” say:

• “I will pass this test.”
• “I will be okay. This is just a small chapter of my story.”
• “I’ve got this.”
• “This is not the end of the world.”

Don’t focus on if/then statements. Start with “I will” and fill in the blanks. Once I started speaking affirmations over myself, the failures, the obstacles, and the challenges didn’t hurt as much. The results would sometimes be disappointing, but I know I am not a disappointment. I failed a test, and that doesn’t make me a failure. What you do doesn’t define who you are. It’s how you react and bounce back that shows your character.

Surround yourself with people who can speak life into you, encourage you, and hold you accountable. We are not meant to go through college alone. Turn to your friends, seek counsel from a professor, and let people know how you’re feeling when times get rough. One of the greatest strengths a person can have is expressing their vulnerability. A lot of people are afraid to use it, but when you have trusted people you can count on, vulnerability can feel more like freedom. Those “I” statements above then become “We” statements: “We are not failures.” “We’ve got this.” Bring your community in and allow them to meet you where you are.

People have always told me that college produces a lot of character building. At first, I didn’t understand, but after your first semester, you eventually find out exactly what that means. Everyone you encounter is going to experience something similar. However, their coping mechanisms might not be as healthy. Some people resort to drugs or alcohol, but there are healthier ways, like the ones I’ve listed above, that you can practice to protect your mental, emotional, and physical health.

If you’re anything like me, a little OCD mixed with a touch of perfectionist syndrome, this is going to be a real challenge. But I’m here to tell you: you’ve got this. I made it through. I graduated Summa Cum Laude, I still speak with my professors, and I’ve learned that no matter what I do, I am okay with myself. My value isn’t defined by a classroom or what I’m able to produce, even though my academic performance mattered deeply to me as a scholarship student. I wish I had told my freshman self not to sweat the small stuff. Since I can’t go back in time, I’ll tell you instead: learn from your mistakes, bounce back, and enjoy your time.