Rules for Peaceful Roommate Living

Starting university is a whirlwind of emotions. Excitement leads the way, filled with the promise of a new venture and a future career. But for many, the reality of living with a new roommate quickly complicates that perfect vision. Be aware of the signs and know what to avoid.

The Purpose of Community Standards

Imagine coming home from a long day of classes: early morning English, then Psychology, lunch, and then another major course. You enter the dorm, and it looks like a pig sty! The dilemma develops with only one hour to change before band practice, knowing it will last the rest of the night.

Welcoming you is the smell of sweaty, musty laundry. Your eyes pan to the kitchen sink, where dirty dishes are piled as high as Mount Everest with overflowing garbage. The common area is a war zone: a foot of shoes thrown across the couch, crushed empty beer cans in the corner, and tobacco residue garnished over the coffee table. You may be tempted to quickly tidy up, but you already squandered fifteen minutes just standing there in awe and disgust.

You finally make it to the bathroom, and this is where it gets real. Your roommate’s dirty underwear hangs on the faucet (where you wash your hands), the toilet has not been flushed, and there is a dirt ring at the base of the shower.

With all this chaos, what’s next? Should you ignore it and head to practice because you can’t be late? Or confront the other three roommates to find out how the dorm got so filthy?

The answer is to avoid this scenario entirely. At the very beginning of semester when all the roommates meet, an understanding must be developed to ensure a clean, shared space and a commitment to upholding Langston’s community standards.

Laying the Foundation: Proactive Steps for Peace

Before you even meet your roommates, there are a few proactive steps you can take to control your living environment:

Know Your RA (Before They Know you)

When you arrive at Langston as a first-year student, you’ll more than likely move into Centennial Court. Each building has a minimum of one Resident Assistant (RA). Your RA can be your best guide, resource, and mentor. But be warned, do not get on their bad side, or you will feel like the world is against you. Establishing a respectful relationship early means they will be more willing to step up on your behalf later. Note, Centennial Court buildings are three stories with no elevators. So, a room labeled “831” means you will be on the third floor. If you have a lot of heavy, weighted items, be proactive and try to get a room on the first floor, like “813.”

Before arriving to campus, always be vigilant about checking your email for official check-in dates. During check-in, you first report to the auditorium to confirm your financials and housing reservation. Once you get the green light, head to the clubhouse. This is where you fill out the vital paperwork:

1. The Agreement and Intake Form: This outlines the community standards. Read it carefully before signing, even if it is lengthy. You are agreeing to uphold these standards, and your signature gives you leverage if a roommate violates them.
2. The Conditions Room Sheet: You fill this out when you first visit your unit. You grade the condition of every amenity in the space. This works in your favor at check-out; if the department tries to charge you for property damage, you have proof of its existing condition upon move-in. Check and re-check!
3. Command the Atmosphere

The best advice when moving in is to GET THERE FIRST! You can command the atmosphere of how the dorm should function and ensure a clean environment.

When you meet your roommates, be sure to greet them and get to know a little bit about them. Then, together, create a culture for the space that everyone agrees to. Whether it is the “chill dorm” or the “turn-up dorm,” the culture must be decided unanimously. If one person disagrees, the whole dynamic can quickly fall into disarray.

When Communication Fails

If your roommates are not agreeing with the community standards, do not take it upon yourself to aggressively confront them. That is what your RA is for.

• Constant Communication Counts: This is your best friend. Let your RA be aware of anything that goes on in the dorm that makes you uncomfortable, whether it be loud noises, uncleanliness, or the use of prohibited items (like drugs) that could cause you a fine.

• Document Everything: While a face-to-face conversation with your RA is helpful, they may forget about it later, especially during room checks. Therefore, let emails be your best friend, and be sure to always copy the Resident Director on the email as well. This creates a paper trail and ensures that the issue is logged at the supervisory level.

When an RA discovers a roommate disagreement, their role is to act as a mediator to alleviate the issue. If no resolution comes about, the matter is then escalated to the Resident Director.

Now, go into your academic year with the necessary tools to navigate a peaceful dorm. You cannot control your roommates’ behavior, but you can control your boundaries and the resources you use to enforce the community standards you all agreed to.